Terra's Darkness: The Wandering Soul
by Vaanskylord
Summary: After Terra unleashes her esper wrath she finds inner-conflict and desperation to arise but the true enemy is something that has haunted her in many diffrent ways..... herself.
1. Chapter 1: Protection

Terra's Darkness: The wandering Soul

By: VaanSkylord

_**Authors Note**_

**This is my first fan fiction so this is pretty exciting. I'm definitely not a great writer but this is the only way for me to express the ideas and stories I have of this particular characters, Terra Branford. I absolutely adore her character and she is very unique and well thought out. Unfortunately FF6 doesn't dive too deep in the finer details of her life, so I thought "Hey why don't I make a story off of some of the ideas I have of her life". **

**Remember this is purely fan made, this story is based off something that did happen in the game but the events that take place are different. It's basically what happened to Terra when she was trapped in her Esper form and what she did, I'm expanding on what actually happened. So please enjoy.**

_**Prologue: **_(Just some back story on what happened before the story starts, this actually happened in the game).

The Returners fought against the Empire, in the Narshe mountains in order to keep the frozen Esper (Valigarmanda) from falling into their hands. They were successful in their ordeal and moved on to see the Esper for themselves. Valigarmanda then reacts to Esper and changes her to a beast like state, a state of which has no control.

Chapter 1: Protection

"Terra!!" Locke screamed at the top of his lungs. Desperation and confusion was all he felt, he didn't understand why Terra had transformed into what she was but he was helpless to find out, he was hanging from one arm on the side of a cliff. He didn't know how much longer he had before he fell into the freezing water thousands of feet below. Just the thought of falling into the water as it skewered his body made him shiver.

Now wasn't the time to think, he had to use every bit of his muscle to make it back up to solid ground so that he could assess the terrible situation. He could hear Terra's racking screams and the yells of some of his comrades trying to pull themselves out of the same situation he was in.

Locke had medium length gray hair, his most notable feature being the unique bandana he wore and the eccentric patterns on it. He wore a black jacket and black thin pants to match. His clothing's design matched the design on his bandana. Locke wore many different kinds of jewelry, but it remains uncertain what questionable things he did to obtain them.

The icy and slippery surface of the mountain made it hard for him to keep his grip, every time he tried to reach a foothold his foot would slip off of the surface and his arm was losing strength. The blistering cold winds did nothing but worsen his condition. _'Dammit Locke! You've made it out of situations like this before' _he told himself.

Locke looked up and saw waves of energy coming from the top of the cliff; he could also hear Terra's screams of suffering. _'I have to protect her, I told her I would' _he thought to himself. Locke used his free arm to grab a dagger from his belt and plunged it deep into the cliff's icy surface. He then mustered enough strength to pull himself up. "Argghhh !!!" Lock yelled as he pulled himself up, it took everything he had just to force his body to move in these conditions.

He started to slowly begin his advance up the cliff. He tried to keep a cool head and not think about how much pain his body was in. He had too many questions running through his mind. _'What happened to Terra? Is everyone else ok? What if I don't make it back up in time? What if I don't make it up at all !?'_

Locke climbed up the side of the cliff with a dagger in his left hand and his bare right hand. The cold, fierce winds cut his face and blood began to seep from the cuts. His fingers were frost bitten and the strength from his arms were nearing depletion but Locke only had one thought in his head. "Protect Terra"

He said these words over and over as he climbed up the cliff, he didn't care if the climbing the cliff ripped him apart on the inside, he had a promise to keep; that he would protect Terra from anything no matter what. He dug his Dagger into the next rock but this rock was weak, it immediately gave way and he lost his grip, "Shit!" In an attempt to grab back on to the cliff he dropped his dagger.

Locke looked down and lost sight of the dagger as it fell into the frosty river. Locke looked back up and saw that he was close to the top, "Terra! I'm coming for you!" Locke yelled. His determination was louder than the howling winds. He started to climb with both of his bare hands to the top of the cliff, his eyes squinted as the winds grew stronger.

'_Geez…why is it always me who gets caught in these situations? It's starting to get just a little ridiculous' _Locke thought to himself.

The weather began to wear Locke out, but he didn't let that stop him from reaching his goal. Locke focused carefully on every detail of the cliff before he advanced, one wrong move and it was all over. Inch by inch he climbed higher, he placed his hands carefully on the next piece of rock and quickly tested to see if it would support his weight and searched for foot holds with his feet.

'_I'm on the final stretch'_ Locke said to himself. He wasn't sure how he made it this far but he still had a little more to go.

Just as he started to make it to the top the surface of the cliff began to crumble and give way. "W-what the". A powerful burst of energy tore through the top of the cliff and Locke had flown off the side. His eyes widened and his mouth opened, he couldn't believe that this had happened, right before he had made it to the top he had been blown off.

Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, he saw huge chunks of the cliff fly off and waves of energy blasting through the air. Dust from the rubble had flown into his eyes and obscured his vision but then he felt something warm touch his hand. It was actually cold but compared to the freezing temperatures he had just experienced it might as well have been warm.

He noticed he wasn't falling anymore and that someone had grabbed his hand. The water from the snow cleared the dirt out of his eyes and he was able to make out the face of Celes. _'…Celes…? But…how?'_

He could barely make out her face but her bright blonde hair was easy enough to recognize. As the quality of his vision increased he noticed two small arms wrapped around her waste. They were the arms of Gau, and further up he could see Sabin, holding Gau's leg with one hand and the edge of the cliff with another.

Locke had never been so happy to see their faces. Locke stared up at Celes in awe. "Are you going to stare up at me all day, or are you going to climb back up?"  
Spoke Celes in a loud voice as she competed with the loud howl of the wind.

Locke finally came back to his senses and climbed back up the cliff with the rest of them. The rest of the climb seemed easy, Locke didn't focus very much on the condition he was in but how glad he was that he wasn't freezing to death in the river. He couldn't help but feel grateful to Celes and the others, and something about seeing her face after his life had been saved made his heart leap.

As they made it to the top they could see Terra, although she no longer looked like the Terra they knew.

Her body was covered in a vibrant pink fur, and her hair was now much longer and it matched the color of her fur, despite her wild appearance her eyes glowed with sorrow.

Celes, Locke, Sabin and Gau were all together. On the opposite side stood Cyan and Edgar. None of them were sure about what they should do except for watch. Celes felt the impulse to dash forward and stop this but something about the power that was being emitted from Terra kept her stationary. At that moment from the corner of her eye she saw Locke run toward Terra.

"Locke, No !" Celes called out as she tried to grab his arm, but he was out of her reach.

Locke ran forward with an arm stretched forward as if to grab her Terra but with one final cry and burst of energy Terra had flew high into the sky and out of sight.

The last wave of energy made Locke fly back and fall into the deep snow. He was in a daze for a bit and noticed that something had fallen over his face. He took it off and saw that it was his bandana; it had flown off of his head from the force of the wave.

"Terra…what happened to you?" Locke whispered. He got up and brushed the cold snow off of himself.

Celes had fallen right next to him; she slowly got up and looked at him with a slightly agitated look. Locke noticed her staring at him but he felt no need to reply.

"Are you alright, Locke?" Said Celes as repositioned herself in front of him.

"Yeah I think so, but I failed. I told her I would protect her" he responded with a voice laced with dolefulness.

Celes remembered Locke saying the same words to her, that he would protect her. She felt something rise inside her. She didn't want to admit to herself that she was slightly jealous.

"I see. Listen Locke, it's not like she's dead or anything. We can still save her" Celes reassured him.

"…You're right; c'mon we gotta go find her" Locke said.

He let out a sigh, smiled a bit and grabbed her hand with one of his and put his other on her shoulder just so Celes wouldn't worry about him. Celes blushed a little and looked away.

"Alright then, I'm going ahead. Try to pull yourself together ok? I'll be waiting at the Elder's house, tell Edgar to hurry up; we need to discuss our next plan of action"

She then pulled her had away and walked away quickly. She wasn't exactly sure why but something about Locke made her feel safe. _"What am I thinking? I don't need him to protect me"_ She thought to herself.

The rest of the party got together and talked amongst themselves for a bit, discussing what had just happened.

"_Locke pull yourself together, it's not over ye- _

Just then Locke's body fell apart; all of the severe pressure he put his body through had weakened him greatly. He fell on to one knee and tried to catch his breath. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stay awake; the hike back to the elder's house would be hell.

While Locke fell to the ground and heard a voice.

"Uwaooo! Shiny, shiny!" Gau yelled as he pointed to the sky. Locke looked up and he saw a pink sparkle flying into the distance just before he lost consciousness.

**That's the end of this chapter it was kind of a prequel. Don't worry Terra is coming in on the next chapter. Well please tell me how I did and what I should improve on. Remember I'm not that good of a writer but I'm trying my best, hopefully I improve along the way.**


	2. Chapter 2: Internal Struggle

Chapter 2: Internal Struggle

Terra had just awoken from what seemed to be a terrible nightmare, but the reality of the situation was that this nightmare was in fact real. She lay on the cold floor refusing to open her eyes; she was afraid to face the truth. Something inside of her told her that she was no longer herself but she wanted to deny it.

She had just hurt and nearly killed her allies, was it even right to call them her friends anymore? She knew that she couldn't just lay there but she wanted someone, anyone, to come and help her.

Terra was a beautiful young women, her skin was flawless and smooth. Her eyes were deep, so deep that you could get lost in them as if you were in a maze. Her hair was a very light blonde, curly and pulled into a pony tail with a well designed pink bow. Her body was perfectly shaped; her chest was naturally sized and proportioned well with her bust.

Terra wore a red top and skirt; both had a beautiful flower pattern. Around her waist lay a multi-colored sash which was mainly purple-pink and beads ran around the sash. She wore white leggings which also had a flower pattern on it. Her boots were red while the heel, sole and toe of the boots were embedded with glistening gold. Her final accessories were her earrings and cape.

The cape extended to her ankles, the main color of the cape was a pale pink. On the inside of the cape was a smaller cape, this one was a pale purple with a flower pattern. On her left shoulder was a shoulder pad which extended to a point next to her ear. Everything she wore was uniquely designed and complemented her incomparable beauty very well.

All she could hear was a hollow wind, she couldn't tell where it was coming from or where it was going. Her eyes were still shut tight; she thought that maybe if she kept them shut things would change. That she might be able to wake up from this nightmare.

She was confused and lost; it was like she had no control over herself. She shuddered from the thought of what had happened. Terra had always wondered who she was but now it wasn't a matter of who, but what.

She started to feel dizzy and it seemed like everything was spinning. Anxiety began to swell in the pit of her stomach, she held her stomach tight and realized that she would get nowhere by keeping her eyes closed, she hoped that what she saw when she opened them wasn't something to be afraid of.

Terra finally opened her eyes; she surveyed every bit of the area around her. It was something she had never seen before. _"Where …am I?"_ Terra thought to herself as she slowly raised her head off the tiled ground.

It was darkness as far as the eye could see, and at the horizon was an eerie purple light. Terra quickly sat up right and looked everywhere, no matter where she looked all she could see was darkness. Terra had wished that she had just kept her eyes shut.

Nothing had made sense, she didn't know where she was or why she was there, she knew that something just wasn't right. The place she was in gave her a choking feeling; nothing was as it should be.

"Hassahahahassa"

Terra began to hear voices, they echoed through her head but nobody was around. "W-who's there?" Terra whispered. She stood on her knees and looked around curiously.

The voices began to ring in her head louder and the howl of the winds grew so loud that it sounded like thunder. It felt like there were people near her but she didn't see anyone. She held her hands to her ears to try to block out the noise but the voices were still loud and clear.

"Please stop!" Terra cried, but the volume of her voice was nothing compared to the screech of the winds.

"Somebody…anybody, help me…!" Terra cried. She wished that Locke was there to help her just like he came to her rescue in Narshe. She was frightened that she might actually be alone in an unknown place.

"_How Pathetic!" _

A voice hissed as the winds began to stop and the voices ceased.

"Who's there?" Terra spoke.

"_You really can't do anything buy rely on others can you?"_ The voice spoke again.

Terra stood up on both of her legs and tried to find out where the voice was coming from.

"Tell me! Who are you!?" Terra yelled. She didn't know what this voice was or why it was criticizing her and for that reason she became even more frightened.

"_Locke can't help you now or anyone for that matter. How does it feel to be truly alone? _The mysterious voice snapped.

"I-I'm asking you who you are!" Terra yelled.

"_HAHAHAHAH!!! Was that supposed to be intimidating? Well let me tell you that was far from it, you just showed how weak you really are, it's a little sad"_

Terra feel back to the ground on her knees and held herself tightly, she wanted someone to save her.

"_SILENCE, nobody is going to save you! Especially not after you nearly killed them" _The voice bellowed.

"No! That's….that's not true…" Terra spoke quietly.

"_Don't deny it; you know it's the truth. Do you even know what you are?"_

"I...."

"_Of course you don't! You refuse to believe the truth no matter how blatant it may be. You want everyone to shelter and protect you!" _The voice barked before she could even finish.

"Please, just STO-

"_NO! I won't, not until I break you apart and rip you limb from limb!" _

Terra had lost all of her will to fight back, she was confused and scared. Why was this creature haunting her and where was she?

"_Let me show you what you truly are!!!" _

Everything had fallen silent. Nothing could be heard everything was in darkness. Terra slowly looked up her eyes were dark and confused, her hands trembled rapidly and her heart was beating faster than ever.

"_It's lying! It must be trying to deceive me, I wouldn't….I would never hurt them, I'm human just like them…just like them…" _Terra thought, but she began to doubt herself, was she really just denying the truth?

Just then the ground began to shake. Terra lifted her head and saw that the ground was beginning to break apart, starting at the horizon and it was coming her way. Every piece of the ground collapsed tile by tile.

Terra got up quickly and began to run in the opposite direction but she soon noticed that the floor was shattering in every direction, no matter where she ran she would meet the same fate. She couldn't understand why this was all happening to her, she was rapidly losing her will to continue. She was ready to submit to her fate.

Just before the floor beneath her was about to shatter she was engulfed in a radiant light. When she opened her eyes she was able to see the mountains of Narshe. She was overcome with happiness as her eyes widened. "_I'm back!"_ Terra thought. Her heart skipped a beat; she was finally out of that wretched place. "_Maybe it actually was a dream"_ Terra thought as she scratched her head in confusion.

But something wasn't right, everything was foggy as if she was looking through a mirror and she soon realized that was exactly what it was. Nothing she could see was tangible; it was if she was hovering the mountains.

"N-no this can't be…" Terra nearly fell apart; she was so sure that she had made it back only to find out that it was an illusion. Everything looked completely real, it was like she was there but she wasn't.

Soon she was hovering over a mountain with waves of energy emitting from the top, the waves of energy were beautiful at first almost as if they danced around attempting to put on a show. Terra stared in awe at the beautiful light until she realized how much destruction they were causing.

Every wave of energy tore at the ground with a powerful amount of force, as she looked closer she could see her comrades fighting for their lives, and that each wave that struck them injured them greatly.

Terra couldn't believe what she was seeing, and to her horror she noticed one final piece to the puzzle. She saw a creature in the middle of the chaos, a terrifying beast wreaking all of the destruction she had just seen.

Her heart wrenched for she had already known the truth, something deep inside of her told her that she was looking at herself.

"_That's right; you finally see the truth don't you? Anymore of that power and you would have torn them apart…it's a shame that it didn't end up that way" _spoke the mysterious voice.

"No…no...No…NO! That monster isn't me! I know who I am!" Terra cried at the top of her lungs, more than anything she didn't want to accept it, that she was actually the monster who started all of this.

"_NO! You don't know who you are. You've said it yourself countless times, you always wonder who you are, why you have powers that nobody else does, why you don't know what L-O-V-E is, but guess what darling, your NEVER going to find out!" _Screamed the voice.

"You don't know me!"

"_You don't even know yourself!"_

"….I do…I'm human…"

"_Can normal humans use magic? Don't normal humans understand their own feelings?"_

"Please….stop!"

"_I know what you are becau- _

"ENOUGH!" Yelled a powerful and thundering voice. The force of the voice echoed all throughout the illusionary mountains of Narshe. The voice was so powerful that it began to shatter the illusion as if it were glass. Every piece fell in slow motion and within every piece Terra saw not the reflection of herself but the reflection of a monster.

"NO! I'm not a monster!" Terra cried as a red glow emitted from her, it swirled around her like a thread on a wheel. The glow soon started to emit ember and then that ember turned into a scorching flame.

The fire spiraled around her body and her eyes glowed a deep red. Terra thrusted one of her arms in front of her and placed the hand of her other arm on her wrist. The fire whipped around her body as if it was alive and it began to focus itself around her outstretched arm

As Terra called out to her power the fire around her spread apart and began to blast apart every piece of glass. Everywhere she looked she saw the reflection of a monster.

"NO, NO, NO! I'm not a monster!" Terra cried over and over as she blasted ever piece of glass that showed the face of what she despised most.

The fires ran rampant as if it were on a riot. The flames engulfed and destroyed every piece of glass.

Terra fell to the ground surrounded by her flames. She placed her face into her hands and began to cry. She didn't understand anything, who those two voices belonged to, or even what she was. She wondered why she had to be such a monster and if anyone would ever accept her, or where she was in the first place.

Nothing made sense and she just wanted everything to go back to the way things were.

Terra stayed where she was with tears streaming down her face, all she could do was cry so that some of the pain would go away.

"Terra do not fret; do not let your heart waver, for what you wish to be true shall come to be" Spoke a wise and powerful voice.

The voiced pierced through her ears like lightning; she slowly lifted her head to see an old man in front of her. His eyes were closed and his skin was wrinkled, he wore a long white cloak from his neck to his toe and it trailed along the ground. He had very pale skin and his most notable feature being his beard which was long enough to touch the ground.

His head was bald; his fingers were long and slender as were his nails. Despite his odd appearance he emitted an aura that felt like home, it made Terra feel welcome. She didn't know who he was but he made her feel safe.

"There, there young one" Said the old man as he wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I am Ramuh, and I will help you"


	3. Chapter 3: Control

Chapter 3: Control

Terra followed the white cloak as it trailed across the ground. She wasn't sure how long she had been following and looking at the same cloak, was at a mere 10 minutes? Or could it have been a few hours, their location showed no change of time at all.

Many questions laid deep in Terra's mind. Questions of which she was sure Ramuh could answer. But she couldn't bring herself to ask any of them. It wasn't that she was afraid of him, rather that she was wary of him. Ever since she had came to this strange place everything was against her. She wasn't sure if he was trying to trick her or if he was just an illusion.

Only his welcoming presence led her to think that he could be trusted. Terra hoped that he would actually be able to help her, she was helpless by herself as long as she stayed here.

Ramuh had not said a word ever since they met. She had just followed him when he told her to and that was it.

Terra's legs began to grow tired after the extensive amount of walking she had done. She didn't even have one moment of rest ever since she came to this mysterious place. Terra kept her mouth shut about her legs hurting; she didn't want to become a burden to Ramuh.

They had been walking through this cave like place for a long period of time, although the exact amount of time was unknown. Thin, sharp stalactites hung from the ceiling. The ground was smooth, occasionally they would come across some steepness but other than that the ground was perfectly leveled. The cave was wide and the sound of running water came from the west side. On the east lay hundreds of stalagmites of all shapes and sizes.

The only sounds that could be heard were the quite sounds of rushing water from the west and the water dripping from the stalactites. With every drop that fell, Terra felt the urge to impose a question.

Finally Terra decided to ask a few questions, at least to be able to break the mind racking silence, save the sounds of water.

"Um…" Terra spoke in a curious tone

"Hahaha, dear me, in all my years of existence never have I been called , a first time for everything I suppose". Ramuh spoke in his gentle voice.

The aura from Ramuh was nothing but gentle, it made her feel at home.

"I was wondering where we're going" Terra spoke

"Hmm that's a very good question" uttered Ramuh as he ceased his advance.

"So…does that mean we're lost?" Terra whispered in a worried voice. She wanted to believe that Ramuh knew what he was doing.

"Well now that would be very bad indeed" spoke Ramuh as he put his hand to his head as if he tried to recall some piece of information.

Terra put her fingers to her mouth and let out a giggle. She couldn't help but laugh at how lost Ramuh really was.

Ramuh turned around to face Terra. He smiled gently and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Would you happen to be tired, young lady?"

Terra knew that she was growing weary from the past events but she didn't want to become a burden.

"No, it's ok. I'm feeling fine" spoke Terra as she let out a false smile.

"Well then I guess we can keep going we'll take a break in the next few hours" Ramuh laughed as he began to walk ahead.

Terra on the other hand was not so amused; she didn't know how long she could keep going with out rest.

"W-wait, I'm sorry. Is it possible for us to rest now?"

Ramuh stroked his beard with his long nails for a moment and smiled once again.

"Of course we can. If you are ever tired be sure to tell me. Don't over exert yourself, understand?" Spoke Ramuh in a concerned tone.

"I understand ".

Terra sat down on the ground so that she could place her bare feet into the water. The water was surprisingly warm, considering how cold the cave was. The water soothed her feet and she began to feel relaxed. She started to massage her legs to ease the pressure built up in them.

Ramuh sat a ways away with his hand on his head still looking as if he was trying to recall something important.

Terra still had many questions she wanted to ask him and she intended to ask them. She was no longer wary of Ramuh, although it may have been too soon she trusted him. She strongly believed that her trust was not misplaced.

Ramuh stood up and walked over to Terra. "How are you feeling?" spoke Ramuh.

"Much better, thank you" said Terra as she kicked her feet around in the water.

"Don't you have something to ask me?"

"Yes, there are a few things I wanted to ask you. Who are you and why are you helping me?" Ask Terra with a puzzled expression.

"I am who I said I am, Ramuh. I'm helping you because we are the same"

"The same? What do you mean by that?"

"I'm afraid that is something I cannot tell you. It's something that you must remember on your own. I understand that you're suffering from amnesia, correct?"

"That's right. I can't remember a thing. I don't even know if my memory will ever return" Terra's expression saddened.

Terra continued. "I want to remember but lately of been afraid of who or what I am. I know that I'm different from everyone else, but just how different am I?"

"It all starts with that. You have come to understand that you are different from the others and now you can accept it. Now you can move on to figure out just exactly what you are" Spoke Ramuh.

"I'm not sure if I've fully accepted it but I think that it's time I moved on. No matter how frightened I may be"

"Hold tightly to that determination. You'll need it".

Terra got up taking her feet out the water and sat on a rock, letting her feet air dry. She let out a deep sigh and placed her hands on her lap. Everything she had experienced was overwhelming her, what she showed Ramuh was a false determination.

She was doing what she knew she had to do but inside she was still as confused, worried and frightened as before. It was just like when she was asked to join the Returners, she knew it was the right thing to do but she was still confused when she joined the Returners.

When would she finally understand everything, and finally move on.

"Ramuh, where are we?" asked Terra. She was surprised that she hadn't asked him this question sooner. Something about this place just wasn't right, the geography was random and it wasn't every day when the floor starts shattering beneath your feet.

"I was wondering when you would ask. It's a little hard to explain but simply put you could say that we are inside of you"

This just added one more problem to the list of Terra's worries.

"I'm sorry I don't understand, I'm inside of myself?"

"Let me see if I can further simplify it. Hmmmm" Ramuh mumbled to himself for a moment and then spoke once again. "Ah I've got it. You are trapped in your subconscious. Your mind fled deep within itself when you didn't know how to react to the physical changes of your body. Currently your true body is running rampant while your subconscious remains oblivious to what's happening on the outside.

Terra thought deeply on Ramuh's words. She understood what he was saying but was something like that even possible?

"So you're saying that I'm not the real me?" Terra asked.

"Precisely. And you will forever be trapped in this state until you regain control of your true body. So you see, this is a fight against your very self"

Terra didn't know how to react to those words. How was she supposed to fight herself?

"I-I'm not sure what I should do. All of this is overwhelming. Everyone on the outside wants my help. But how can I when I can't even help myself? I just don't know what to do"

The feeling of loneliness began to work its way back inside of her. She now understood that nobody could help her because it was something only she could do. Her head began to ache.

"Come now. It's not as if I cannot help you at all. I will guide you to the right path."

Terra couldn't focus on the words Ramuh spoke. Her head was hurting and she was starting to hear voices. Her body felt cold and above all else she was scared, Scared of what she was. She had no means of controlling it.

Terra placed her hands to her head in pain. Ramuh didn't notice he was to busy giving advice, he was having a moment. Terra felt the urge to cry but she was tired of crying. It wouldn't get her anywhere. "Get out of my head!" Terra screamed.

"And that's wh-

Terra's scream had cut Ramuh off from his so called advice.

"What happens to be the problem, did I say something wrong?" Asked Ramuh with a dumbfound expression.

The cave began to shake violently and the running water began to blast through the cave.

Terra kneeled down in pain from the voices. All of them asking her questions, all of which she didn't have answers to.

"_What are you? Who are you? Are you afraid? Are you a monster?"_

Over and over the voices spoke in her head. With every time they spoke their voices grew louder and louder until she felt like her ears would burst. The pain started in her head and rapidly grew all throughout her body. The stalactites began to fall from the ceiling all of them making a sharp noise when they fell.

As the stalactites fell they broke into pieces, each piece ricocheted off the ground and off the walls at a dangerous speed, almost as if someone was firing a gun.

Ramuh had then realized what was going on. He quickly moved to Terra's side and placed his arm around her.

"Listen to me! You must fight back! Your body is trying to force you out permanently. You must return to your body and regain control!"

Terra understood what he was saying but her body wouldn't let her respond, she was in incredible pain. As the voices in her head continued their assault she recognized one voice in particular. It was the previous voice that had attacked her.

"_You are too weak to have control, submit to us and the pain will end!"_ Spoke the same sinister and venomous voice.

"You must not give in! Fight back!" Yelled Ramuh

"_You're weak! You know you can't handle this power so just let it take over"_

"You can do this! Do not let your power dissuade you; you're the master of your own body!"

"_Give in!" _

"Do not give in!"

Everything was in chaos, All Terra could do was cry from the pain. The pain overwhelmed her physically while the battle between her power and Ramuh overwhelmed her mentally. How could she fight back in this state?

She knew that if she fought back and won, she would return to the outside and be that terrible monster; she still wouldn't be able to control it in that state.

"_Is that really a step forward?"_ Terra thought.

"_Maybe I should just let it take over; all of this would end if I did. I wouldn't have to be confused anymore and I wouldn't be sad. _The thought of succumbing to this unseen force that she knew to be her dormant power did not sit well with her. But she couldn't fight back against it; it was too much for her.

"_What would happen if I let it take over? I would let everyone down. They need me to help them fight back against the empire. But I doubt they actually care about me; do they just want my power like everyone else? How do I know who to join?"_

All of Terra's thoughts had come to her in the midst of the battle. She began to doubt everyone and everything. Which was the proper path to take?

"_No! I can't doubt them; they all fought so hard to protect me. Even though they need me, I'm sure they worry about me and not just my power. I have to gain control so I can fight for them, just like how they have for me" _

Although unsure of what to do after, she knew that she had to make it back to her physical form.

"_S-stop! You're a weakling you can't control it. You don't deserve this power!!! Don't you dare defy me!!!" _ The sinister voice yelled in desperation.

"Yes, yes! Fight back!" Ramuh yelled in happiness.

"This is my body; I won't let you have control!"

"_HOW DARE YOU, you...You...Little BITCH! I will destroy you, rip you apart fr-_

The voice of the creature had begun to vanish as well as the other voices in her head. She felt as if she was changing, everything around her seemed to disappear and all she felt was warmth.

The last thing she could hear was the voice of Ramuh.

"You're on to the next step, fight back for control. I will guide you from afar. Good luck, we shall meet again very soon"


	4. Chapter 4: Pain

Chapter 4: Pain

Terra felt as if she was at the border line of sleep and being awake everything felt like a blissful dream, as if she could easily fade away from the world and all of her hardships. She could feel a light, warm, wind on her face. It had a soothing effect on her body. She wanted to stay like this for a little longer but something inside told her that it was coming to an end.

She was about to re-enter the brutal world that she wished to escape. Her body began to feel physical; it didn't feel the same as before when she was with Ramuh. She felt like her body was real, as if she were in the real world. When she finally gained consciousness all she could see was the clear blue sky.

It felt as if she was flying, but soon enough she realized that she actually was flying. She tried to move from the shock but her body didn't respond

Terra was in the form of an Esper once again. Just like Ramuh said, she would be able to return to her physical form once again but she still needed to gain full control. All she had were her thoughts. Her body moved on its own and she could do nothing about it.

It took a while for everything to sink in. She had to repeatedly tell herself that everything was going to be fine. But all she was doing was lying to herself she already knew that everything wasn't going to be ok; she had no way of controlling her actions.

All of the pain and stress from her hardships began to work itself back inside of her. The soothing effect she got from the wind started to fade away. She had returned to the real world just like she wanted but nothing had changed. She was still trapped in this horrid state.

Terra's body began to fly faster as she started to lose all of her will. No matter how hard she tried to control her body nothing happened. It seemed to react to how she felt rather than how she told it to. Her body began to dive toward the ground at full speed.

"Why...why is this happening? I was supposed to gain control when I came back but nothing I do will work!"

Terra began to worry as she saw her body flying toward the ground. If this went on she would just crash and die.

"Maybe it would be better to die that to continue on as a monster" she thought. But she knew that everyone needed her. She was torn, she wanted to fight on, but what was she even fighting for? She was only fighting because everyone else needed her strength and she didn't know what else to do but to follow them. What was the point in fighting for a life that had no meaning to it?

Even though she knew that dying would just end everything she couldn't bring herself to do it, she didn't want to die. It was one of the things she was absolutely afraid of.

At that moment her body turned and blasted away from the ground. Her body flew from the ground into a canyon, the opening was tight and hairs of her body were just barely touching the walls of the canyon.

As she sped forward the canyon gradually widened more and more. With every second she became even more afraid. She hated what she had become, she wanted everything to end. Her body began to react violently to the confusion that she felt.

Electricity started to build up around her body; the electricity discharged with extreme force and trailed behind her as it tore at the canyon walls. The canyon walls couldn't withstand the strength of the electricity and began to fall apart with ease.

A large crashing sound could be heard, it was a thunderous and pounding roar that would make anyone's ears cry. The tremendous pieces of rock fell and crashed into each other which only caused more destruction. Terra flew far above and gazed downward at the now crumbling canyon.

She couldn't believe that she had caused so much destruction in a matter of seconds. The canyon collapsed within itself and after all the damage was done a large dust cloud rose from the rubble.

Terra's body hovered for a moment and then began to shake and wiggle as if it had something unwanted on its body. But in fact it was Terra's fighting herself from within as she screamed in terror of what she was. Her screams were loud and ear piercing. As she continued her harsh screaming, shockwaves began to emit from her body.

"I-I really am just a monster, I can't even stop myself from destroying everything!" Terra cried in desperation.

Her body swooped low and flew near the ground. She blasted through the forests only leaving behind destroyed trees.

Terra set off toward the ocean and flew close to the water. The water rose along side her; it was one of the few things she couldn't destroy. From the ocean she flew to the shore line and back to the mountains near the former canyon.

"Is this how I'm going to live for the rest of my life…? This isn't how I want to live!" She began to move as if it was fighting itself once again. Terra's body placed its hands onto its head in pain from her screams on the inside.

"Please! Give my body back! I can't go through this anymore!"

Her body drifted in the air screaming and fighting itself continuously. In response to what was happening her body sent out blasts of fire each starting an explosion as it hit the surface of the mountain. The damage done to mountain was minor at first but her body continued to barrage it with more and more as it flew closer.

From there she went south over the grasslands, for a while she could see nothing but grass but something soon came into view. It was a small town.

Terra could sense what her body was about to do and she desperately tried to stop it.

"No! There are people there, STOP!" She fought even harder to gain control but to no avail.

Her body continued even faster, She first flew past the town and circled back around. She hovered near the town for a moment and then finally raised its hand as if to attack.

Her arm stood there for a moment and began to shake.

"I can't let you attack this town! I won't let you harm those people!"

Her body placed her other hand on the arm that was going to fire an attack, to keep it steady.

Terra tried as hard as possible to stop the attack. Her arm continued to shake vigorously.

A ball of energy started to form in the palm of her hand and grow larger.

She could feel it about to fire as she continued to fight back for control.

"I can't let this happen, I'll truly be a monster if I end up…killing these people" Terra thought. But she was unable to cease the attack.

It shot forward at full speed but fortunately she was able to throw the attack off distance. Instead of landing a direct hit at the center of the town it landed near the edge of the town only damaging a few homes.

"Stop…stop…stop…STOP…STOP!!!" Terra screamed at the top of her lungs. Her body was torn, it couldn't respond to both the will to attack and the will to stop the attack. Her body held itself as it began to fall into the forest near the town.

On the ground she lay rolling around while she held herself tightly. It was the most painful thing she had ever experienced, physically and mentally. It was tearing her apart from the inside.

The ground began to shake as she screamed in pain. The trees swayed, the animals hid, the ground cracked.

"I-I have to keep fighting for control…I have to for the sake of everyone else…"

Terra could feel some kind of control return to her body. At first she could slightly move a few of her fingers but soon after she was able to move her limbs.

It took all she had just to stand, she had to move while simultaneously keep control over her body.

From there she began to take a step forward, her body limped from the pain.

She slowly kept moving forward while occasionally stumbling to the side. She was heading in the direction of the town she had just nearly destroyed. She didn't know why she was heading toward a place full of people who would obviously reject her.

It had only then occurred to her that if she stayed this way she would be rejected by everyone and everything. She wouldn't have anyone or anything by her side. She would be alone for the rest of her terrible life. The thought of living like that brought incredible pain to her heart.

Terra had soon entered the edge of the town she had just attacked. A cloud of smoke had risen from the damage she had done. All that was heard were screams of panic from the people.

"Hey are you people over there ok?"

Terra could see a young man about her age trying to help a family from one of the houses she had hit.

The man ran head first into the blazing house. Not to long after he returned with a little girl and boy in his arms.

The little girl was crying and the boy was trying to tell the young man something.

"Wait! My mommy is still in there!"

The young man looked in shock when he heard the boy utter those words.

"How could I have missed her? I'll be right back with your mom don't worry!"

A few more people cam over to the commotion as the young man ran back to the house.

"Wait James! It's too dangerous!" yelled one of the men who had just appeared.

"Don't worry I'll be fine!" He yelled back as he entered the burning home.

The house started to fall apart just as he entered the house. The children stood there crying. One of the men became frustrated as he tried to calm the children down.

Fire erupted from the top of the house and the walls were charred. Terra was almost sure that the young man had been killed.

But at that moment he darted out the building with a woman in his arms just as the house began to collapse.

He fell to the floor holding the women tightly in his arms. He started coughing uncontrollably but other than that he was fine. He checked the women's breathing and began to perform CPR for a few moments.

"C'mon back to us, your children are waiting for you" James spoke as he continued the CPR. Her fingers started to twitch at first then she quickly rose gasping for air.

The children embraced their mother immediately with tears rushing down their eyes. The mother thanked James over and over as her children continued to hug her tightly.

The fact that nobody was injured brought a slight smile to Terra's face but the reality of her situation quickly removed the smile.

Terra limped over to a near by lake not to far from the town. She passed a sign that read Kohlingen. She assumed that was the name of the town.

She sat down and looked into the water to see her reflection.

It was as she thought, she wasn't normal at all. She was still covered in the pink-purplish fur. But her eyes no longer looked as wild as they did before, now all they showed was sorrow.

"Where do I even belong in this world?" Terra thought to herself. As she continued to view her reflection she heard a voice.

"Are you lawst?" spoke the voice.

Terra turned to see the little girl that the young man had saved.

The little girl giggled and spoke again. "You're funny looking"

Terra didn't feel offended at all, in fact she felt amused. She wasn't able to show it though, he body could hardly move as it was.

The little girl moved closer and made all manner of goofy faces trying to make Terra smile.

"How come you're so sad?" Said the little girl curiously.

Terra didn't know whether she could even speak properly in this form, although it was worth a shot.

"Kathy, get away from that thing!" yelled a familiar voice.

It was the young man from before. He quickly grabbed the little girl and pulled her away.

"James! It's not gonna hurt me" yelled the girl in an upset tone.

"It's a monster! And it's the one that attacked the town! I saw it with my own eyes!"

James pulled out a knife from his belt and readied himself to defend the little girl. His stance was that of an amateur.

Terra had no intention of hurting either of them but she had the appearance of a monster it was only natural for a human to be hostile. Terra backed away slowly.

She didn't want to be recognized as a filthy beast for the rest of her life and what had just happened was the perfect example of how it would be.

Terra used all her strength to fly away. Her body was still aching with pain.

She flew far into the sky and drifted amongst the clouds, thinking about all of the past events. She was alone, scared, confused, lost and in pain.

There was only one thing she could feel, it was as if something was calling out to her. She was wary of this strange feeling at first but it gave her a welcoming feeling, the feeling was nostalgic. She knew she had felt it before.

Terra flew off into the distance, following the feeling that was calling out to her.

**I think this chapter felt a bit rushed and jumbled maybe it's just me but tell me what you think if you have the time to review. Thanks for reading.**


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